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TIPS OF THE MONTH

(Carole's Past Monthly Recipes have been moved to

a separate page for RECIPES.  All recipe links go to this new page.)

2008

October: 

  Help and Support for Military Widows

  Recipe of the Month:  Cheesy Chicken and Broccoli Casserole

September: 

  Celebrate Widows Wear Stilettos' Second Anniversary

  Recipe of the Month:  Touchdown Chili

August: 

  When "Going Away" means "Leaving Home"

  Recipe of the Month: Broccoli Salad

July:

  Summertime Sizzle - Be Smart

  Recipe of the Month: Super Cool Coleslaw

June:

  To Life (Insurance, That Is)

  Recipe of the Month:  Chicken Turnovers

May

  Spring Has Sprung

  Recipe of the Month:  Quickie Chickie Salad

April

  Don't Assume . . . ASK

  Recipe of the Month:  Tortellini Caesar Salad and  Charoset

March

  Live and Laugh

  Recipe of the Month:  Sausage Tortellini Soup and Cucumber Salad

 

February

  Celebrate Life in a Beautifully Meaningful Way

  Recipe of the Month:  Chicken Whip

January 

  Undercover Angel - She's Amazing

  Recipe of the Month:  Easy Pull-Apart Bread

2007

December: 

  Holiday Ideas - No Baking Required

  Recipes of the Month:  Onion Pate & Snowdrops

November: 

  Your Financial Folly Can Finally Be Finished

  Recipe of the Month:  Sherried Sweet Potatoes

October: 

  Help Yourself . . . and Help Others, too

  Halloween Safety

  Recipe of the Month:  Hearty Chicken and Noodle Casserole

September: 

  Awesome Autumn Has Arrived

  Recipe of the Month:  Pork 'N' Noodles with Cherry Dessert

 August: 

  When "Going Away" means "Leaving Home"

July: 

  In the Summertime

June: 

  Widow Etiquette - Part 2

May: 

  Widow Etiquette

April: 

  Spring Has Sprung

  Congratulations Design-Her-Gals

March:

  How To "Get Through" the "Go Through"

February:

  Valentine's Day "SURVIVAL" Ideas

   Do You Know Anyone in My Area

January:

   Happy New Year - Happy New You!

   The Tax Man Cometh

2006

December:

   Holiday Ideas - No Baking Required

   "Legal-ese" - The Hardest Language in the World

November:

   Giving Thanks . . . and Getting Through

   To Life!  (Insurance, That Is)

October:

   Don't Assume - Ask

   Have Fun . . . Help Others

September:

   When Back-to-School and "Back-To-Bed" Collide

   Single in September

 

 

OCTOBER, 2008

 HELP AND SUPPORT FOR MILITARY WIDOWS

For those of you who are widows of spouses who served in the military, we are delighted to introduce you to our friends at www.Americanwidowproject.org.  This site has an incredible wealth of information and support for you – everything from the handling of personal effects to additional resources to help you through this most painful transition in your life.  You will also be able to network with other military widows and share your stories.  Be sure to visit them soon – just like Widows Wear Stilettos, they are ready and waiting to help!

SEPTEMBER 2008

TIPS OF THE MONTH – AUGUST, 2008

CELEBRATE WIDOWS WEAR STILETTOS’

SECOND ANNIVERSARY

WITH A FREE GIFT FROM CAROLE!

It’s our second anniversary at Widows Wear Stilettos and Carole wants to honor it with all of you.  In recognition of Widows Wear Stilettos’ second anniversary, the first 50 people who purchase their CD,  “Widows Wear Stilettos: What Now?” in the month of September will win a FREE 30 minute personal telephonic one-on-one coaching session with Carole!  You will have Carole all to yourself and you will be able to ask her anything that you want or talk over anything that is on your mind.  Remember, the coaching session will be awarded to the first 50 people who order their CD in the month of September.  You will be notified by email if you are one of the winners. 

Don’t wait – these free gifts are usually gone within the first 24 to 48 hours of the month!!  Be sure to visit the “Products and Services” page here on the site to order your “Widows Wear Stilettos: What Now?”  CD.

**Note:  Previous winners are ineligible

WIDOWS WEAR STILETTOS and CAROLE BRODY FLEET RECEIVE

2008 EMBRACE LIFE AWARD

from STATE FARM INSURANCE COMPANIES

We are honored and delighted to announce that Carole and Widows Wear Stilettos were selected to receive the 2008 Embrace Life Award from State Farm Insurance Companies.

State Farm Insurance, the largest insurance company in North America, created the Embrace Life Awards program in 2004 to raise awareness for women on how preparing for the future today can help protect families' hopes and dreams for tomorrow.  During the past four years, the Embrace Life Awards also uncovered heroic stories of perseverance and personal sacrifice of people that bettered their families and communities. 

As 2008 marked the fifth anniversary of the Embrace Life Awards program, State Farm revised and expanded the program; encouraging nominations from both men and women, and recognizing a total of 13 honorees selected from across the United States and Canada.  

Asked to share her feelings upon receiving the award, Carole said that, “This is an incredible honor; not only for me and my family, but for the entire Widows Wear Stilettos team and for the women that we are privileged to represent.  It is also a wonderful tribute to the late Michael Fleet, Sr., whose legacies of love and service to others live on today. I am so grateful to State Farm for helping us reach the millions who need us and to enable us to continue to shine that ‘spotlight’ on all of the women that Widows Wear Stilettos is dedicated to helping”. 

Now it is your turn.  Have you or someone you know overcome tremendous obstacles and challenges brought about by the loss of a spouse or parent and gone on to “embrace life” and help others?  If so, State Farm wants to hear your story – and who knows?  It could be YOU that we are celebrating next year!  For more information on the Embrace Life Awards program and honorees, and to see pictures of this year’s honorees and Awards gala, please visit www.sfembracelifeawards.com

AUGUST 2008

NOTE:  DUE TO OVERWHELMING READER RESPONSE AND FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR NEW MEMBERS, THE FOLLOWING “TIP” IS REPEATED FROM AUGUST, 2007

WHEN “GOING AWAY” MEANS “LEAVING HOME”

For many, August is a popular “going away” month.  Whether it’s to a last session of summer camp or back to school, August is a month where many children find themselves leaving the home…perhaps for a short period time or in the case of college, until the first holidays arrive.

Regardless of the age(s) of your children, leaving home for any period of time may prove difficult.   It’s a scary step under the best of circumstances; under the circumstances with which your children are living, it can be terrifying.  The reasons are several:

• Since the loss of their father, your child’s sense of security has been shaken.  There home life has been upended.  There is a very real underlying fear of losing you as well, and the rationale is oftentimes, “if I don’t leave, nothing will happen to Mom or to my family”.

• Guilt.  Your child may feel as though he is “deserting” you by leaving you all by yourself – and they may feel that way even if there are siblings at home.

• Sadness.  Whether it has been years or just a short time, your child may still be the early stages of mourning the loss of their father (Kendall was still grappling with the “early” stages of grief years after her father’s death).

• Lack of control.  Your child may feel as though they have no control over their lives or their destiny.   Like it or not, they feel as though they “have” to continue with life and that continuance includes school, activities, etc…even if they feel just too overwhelmed to do so.

Your first instinct may very well be to keep your child at home at all costs.  That’s not an unusual instinct; I went through the exact same thing.  However, this is Real World and in Real World, you must enable and encourage your child to return to a life of education and / or activity.

How can you help? 

1)    STOP!    Pay attention to your child.  Does your child appear reluctant to leave home?  Does he /she demonstrate a distinct lack of enthusiasm or disdain for the upcoming activity or departure? 

2)    LOOK!  Does he procrastinate when it comes to packing or taking care of “have-to’s”?   Has her general behavior become moody or sullen? 

3)  LISTEN!  Is she saying things like, “I don’t really have to go Mom”, or, “how will you manage without me”?

4)  VOLUNTEER!  Offer to go with your child … to see them off to school (yes, even if that means traveling across the country), to take them to camp or to the bus that will take them to camp.  Go to lunch or dinner beforehand to help make this a festive and exciting time.  If schools are offering student orientations, offer to go with your child the first time.  You will also want to make sure that any camp or school guidance counselors are aware that your child has experienced a major loss in their life, so that if your child needs help in your absence, the help is ready and waiting for them.

5)  STAY IN TOUCH!  Write, email, fax…whatever you are permitted to do to stay in touch with your child.  And while it’s OK to let them know that you miss them like crazy, it is NOT going to be OK to superimpose your grief onto them – they are worried enough about you as it is.  Don’t tell them that you wish they never had to leave home (even though we all feel that way as parents!), or that their absence makes you miss their father even more…this is a guilt that they cannot handle and should not have to handle. 

6)  KEEP PAYING ATTENTION!  If you sense that your child is having genuine difficulties with being away from home, (poor grades, isolation, rebellion, physical symptoms, etc.,) contact the people in charge to discuss and remedy the situation.  Don’t just assume that “it’s homesickness” or that “this too shall pass”. 

Keeping this tips in mind will help ensure that your child will have a pleasant experience away from home, while at the same time, making sure that your concern, your love and your presence is felt as much as possible.

JULY 2008

SUMMERTIME SIZZLE – BE SMART!

Summertime is upon us!  It’s time to enjoy being outside; be it

at a beach or in your own backyard  - and being outside does wonders for your mental and emotional health too!

We want you to enjoy the summer months; however, we also want you to be safe and smart too. 

Despite all of the education and preventatives out there, skin cancer continues to be the fastest growing cancer in terms of diagnosed occurrences per year.  Skin cancer is the most common of all cancers and it accounts for nearly half of all cancers in the United States. More than 1 million cases of non-melanoma skin cancer are found in this country each year and most are sun-related. The American Cancer Society estimates that approximately 60,000 new cases of skin cancer will be diagnosed in the United States this year – and that’s 60,000 too many. 

To help keep you and your children safe, we are pleased to provide the reminders on how to be sun-smart:  Many thanks to our good friends at the American Cancer society for providing the following information to us.

The best ways to lower the risk of skin cancer are to avoid intense sunlight for long periods of time and to practice sun safety. You can continue to enjoy the outdoors while practicing sun safety at the same time:

• Avoid the sun between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
• Seek shade: Look for shade, especially in the middle of the day when the sun's rays are strongest. Practice the shadow rule and teach it to children. If your shadow is shorter than you, the sun’s rays are at their strongest.
• Slip on a shirt: Cover up with protective clothing to guard as much skin as possible when you are out in the sun. Choose comfortable clothes made of tightly woven fabrics that you cannot see through when held up to a light.
• Slop on the sunscreen: Use sunscreen and lip balm with a sun protection factor (SPF) of 15 or higher. Apply a generous amount of sunscreen (about a palmful) and reapply after swimming, toweling dry, or perspiring. Use sunscreen even on hazy or overcast days. Most of us don’t use enough sunscreen – it’s time to start!
• Wear a hat: Cover your head with a wide-brimmed hat, shading your face, ears, and neck. If you choose a baseball cap, remember to protect your ears and neck with sunscreen.
• Wear sunglasses with 99% to 100% UV absorption to provide optimal protection for the eyes and the surrounding skin.
• Follow these practices to protect your skin even on cloudy or overcast days. UV rays travel through clouds.
• Avoid other sources of UV light. Tanning beds and sun lamps are dangerous because they can damage your skin.

Remember that the only “safe” tan comes from a bottle or a spray booth.  There is no such thing as a “safe” tan – a tan sustained from the sun or from a tanning bed is skin damage!  With the proliferation of truly wonderful sunless tanners available for all skin tones and types (ranging in price from $3.96 at Wal-Mart on up to “luxury prices” at the department stores and at health spas), there is NO reason to “bake” yourself into something resembling a saddlebag – or worse yet, wind up in the doctor’s office.

Please do see your doctor if you notice any of the following:

• Any change on the skin, especially in the size or color of a mole or other darkly pigmented growth or spot, or a new growth;
• Scaliness, oozing, bleeding, or change in the appearance of a bump or nodule;
• The spread of pigmentation beyond its border such as dark coloring that spreads past the edge of a mole or mark;
• A change in sensation, itchiness, tenderness, or pain
•  

Even if none of the above symptoms are present, if you are someone who is prone to or has multiple moles, make sure that you have a “mole check” once a year.

Be smart, be safe and be SIZZLING this summer!

JUNE, 2008

TO LIFE!! (INSURANCE THAT IS)

Many are the young widows who not only suffer the loss of a loved one, but the loss of significant income to their households as well.  Sadly, many more widows were left with either insufficient life insurance or no life insurance at all.  Let’s face it, our discomfort with discussing death can take precedence over common sense…and it’s just plain common sense to have a SOLID life insurance policy (or policies) for those that you leave behind. 

Consider this a quick reminder to make sure that YOU have sufficient life insurance to protect your family – this is necessary for everyone and absolutely NON-NEGOTIABLE if you have children.  The kindest thing that you can do for your loved ones is to see to their comfort and well-being…don’t be so uncomfortable with the subject of “finances and finalities” that you neglect to do so!

WILD WOMEN TRAVEL -

            Most people feel like “getting away from it all” once in awhile…but perhaps no one deserves it more than YOU – someone who has been through the challenge of their lifetime and deserves to pay attention to herself. 

            Our good friends at Wild Women Travel (a subsidiary of San Diego Travel Group) are here and ready to help!  Whether you’re interested in a weekend cruise or a full-out getaway to some of the most incredible places in the world; whether your idea of fun is relaxing on a beach or biking, hiking and marathon-ing amongst the wonders of the world; from spa retreats to spectacular cruises and everything in between…Wild Women Travel can help YOU!  Featuring “Girlfriend Getaways” the experts at WWT are knowledgeable, compassionate, thoroughly professional and a ton of fun to work with.  Regardless of where you’re located, Wild Women Travel is waiting to help you with your travel needs.  For further information or questions, email Connie Thompson (cthompson@sdtg.com) or Shirley Braunlich (sbraunlich@sdtg.com) and be sure to tell them that you’re a member of Widows Wear Stilettos!

TIPS OF THE MONTH – MAY, 2008

SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

(…and if you’re in California, we seem to have skipped spring and headed straight into summer!) 

How about some quick beauty and fashion tips to help you feel great fast! 

1.  Brighten up your room with fresh flowers; which you can get inexpensively at a wholesaler or at your grocery store.  Treat yourself to a spring bouquet (which last longer) and place them in the room where you spend the most time.  Your mood will brighten every single time you walk into that room!

2.  The same goes for candles.  There really is something to be said for aromatherapy – when I have candles going with my very favorite scents (Glade® Apple Cinnamon and any candle that smells like pumpkin), my mood automatically lifts.  What’s  your most favorite scent – chances are that there’s a candle to go with it.  Just like flowers, candles don’t have to be expensive; there are wonderful scents available at your local grocery store or discount retailer. 

3.  Treat YOU!  Not too many of us can afford an entire new spring wardrobe – but what about a blouse, a pair of jeans, or a cute new handbag or a fabulous new pair of shoes (all of which can be gotten inexpensively).  This season, COLOR is everywhere – hot blues, vibrant greens, lemon yellow…all are great mood-lifters AND look great on every skin tone.  We’re still seeing a lot of oversize handbags, but clutches are also HUGE this season – and many of them have “handles” built in so you’re not  “juggling” your purse.  And the great news about shoes this season is that no matter your taste, there’s a shoe for you.  From sky-high stilettos to ballerina flats; from wedges to gladiator-style sandals, there truly is “something for everyone”!

4.  And while you’re paying attention to you, how about “switching up” your look a little bit?  When was the last time that you had a professional manicure or pedicure?  Choose a wonderful color; perhaps one that you’ve never tried before (note: red, pink, hot orange and the “French” are THE popular colors this season) and show off wonderful YOU!  When was the last time you did something different to or with your hair?  No, don’t go cutting it all off or going platinum if you’re dark brown…but how about some highlights – or perhaps a headband; another hot accessory for spring.  The ponytail also continues to be very popular for both day and evening.  Just a little tiny change goes such a long way to refresh and renew (two of my very favorite words…well, besides “shopping” and “shoes”).

5.  Want to lose five pounds fast?  Get a tan!  No, not THAT kind of tan; you don’t need to look like a saddlebag or otherwise endanger your own health.  Instead, get yourself a self-tanning cream or gel or mousse or spray – you can even visit a spray-on booth at a salon.  Happily, we are living in a day and age where the “fake and bakes” look just as real as if you had spent a week in Tahiti…and are much kinder to your skin!  And since a tan covers up all kinds of flaws…five pounds will disappear in a flash! 

Remember - when you take the time to pay just a little bit of attention to you and to your environment, your spirit and your mood are going to naturally lift – go ahead and give it a try!

**Please note:  Answers to questions regarding legal or tax ramifications are based upon the opinions of widowswearstilettos.com only and should not be construed as directed advice.  An attorney or tax expert of appropriate jurisdiction should be consulted accordingly. 

TIPS OF THE MONTH – APRIL, 2008

DON’T ASSUME – ASK!

Because tax season is upon us, we are repeating a portion of Tips of the Month from October, 2006 for you to help you better prepare for April 15^th.

The days that follow the death and funeral of your husband are filled with almost incomprehensible grief; yet this is one of the most crucial time periods for you.  You must see to the economic needs of yourself and your family and time is of the essence.  Most widows do not know where or to whom to turn for help and the younger you are, the less likely you know in which direction to go.  Many young widows do not realize to what they (and their children) may be entitled as survivors.  Sadly, you may have assumed that you are not entitled to any benefits as a widow because:

·         You are young (i.e., not “retirement” age);

·         You are a working mother (and therefore have some kind of income);

·         You weren’t married very long;

·         Too much time has passed since your husband’s death;

·         You don’t have children.

No one likes to deal with practical matters, paperwork or red-tape; yet it’s a time-urgent reality.  Whether you are in the middle of overwhelming grief, or if it has been awhile since your husband’s death, you must still see to practical matters.  Do not merely assume that you are not entitled to any benefits from Social Security, the Veterans Administration, your husband’s employer, etc…you must ASK ASK ASK!!!!

Did you know that:

1.  Come tax season, you may be eligible to file your taxes under what is referred to as “Preferred Status” with the Internal Revenue Service for a period of up to three years.  This means that your status as a widow will be noted on the return; however, the return may be considered as if you were married; thereby affording you the same tax benefits as if you were married.  Your accountant will be able to provide you with additional information – ASK!!**

2.  You do not require a lawyer to file a claim with Social Security on your behalf or on behalf of your children. Unless you feel that you have been wrongly denied benefits, do not retain legal counsel for this purpose.  Social Security will assist you to the best of their ability – ASK!!**

3.  Some mortgage companies will ask that you file a Notice of Death of Joint Tenant (or a similar form) in order to reissue the title on your home to your name alone. This requirement will vary from state to state, and many counties provide the appropriate form(s) on the Internet, along with instructions for filing with your local court (you will not need a lawyer for this purpose).  While the re-issuance of the Title or Grant Deed in your name does not technically qualify as a “survivor benefit”, should you eventually wish to refinance or sell your home, the transaction will likely be delayed if your deceased husband’s name remains on title.  You’ll avoid a whole lot of paperwork entanglements involving your home if you can complete this as soon as is feasible – ASK!!**

Are you getting the picture??

Remember, the worst thing that can happen is that you might be told you’re ineligible for that which you are applying – and all entities will give you a reason or reasons as to your ineligibility.  You may even choose to appeal if you are wrongfully denied benefits.  In any event, don’t merely assume that you aren’t entitled…ASK!!!

TIPS OF THE MONTH – MARCH, 2008

TIPS OF THE MONTH – FEBRUARY, 2008

As Valentine’s Day approaches, and since it is universally one of the most “dreaded” holidays that widows face, your first tip in this month of hearts – is to GO BACK! 

Please scroll down and visit Tips of the Month for February, 2007.  Offering great “survival” ideas for Valentine’s Day, our tips can help you turn this into a fun day for you and those around you, using some of the tips offered.

Here’s one more Valentine’s Tip.  As I have long taught, we always feel better when we are in service to others.  You know, all of the shelters and soup kitchens have lots of volunteers and help during Thanksgiving and Christmas…but what about right now?  These places still serve people in need and people in need is a year round reality.  Why not take a platter or two of Valentine’s cookies or brownies down to a shelter, a soup kitchen or to the children’s wing of a hospital (with prior permission of course).   Valentine’s Day is all about love and that can also include love for our fellow man.

CELEBRATE A LIFE IN A BEAUTIFULLY MEANINGFUL WAY

“Every Life is Special

Every Life is Important

Every Life is Celebrated

Every Life is Remembered”

Pam Vetter, a Certified Funeral Celebrant, speaks these beautiful words.  Never heard of a “funeral celebrant?”  Neither had I - until I met the beautiful Ms. Vetter.  She became a funeral celebrant in direct response to the death of her beloved sister.

 Imagine wanting to say things at your loved one’s funeral that you are not “allowed” to say – or play music that you are not “allowed” to play; even if you’ve been a member of the church or synagogue for many years!  It was that very personal (and in my opinion, horrifying) experience that led Pam to her mission of working with those who truly want to celebrate a life; rather than experience a “cookie cutter, fill-in-the-blanks” funeral service that so many of us have had to endure.

In Pam’s own words, “My life has been changed by the families I meet and the stories I hear. Sharing life stories is a great passion of mine. I remain an advocate for the family's needs and wishes throughout the funeral process. Everyone has a story”.

This concept is so amazing and completely unique…it’s truly one of those things that makes you ask, “where HAS this been?????”  Be sure to check out Pam Vetter at www.CelebrantPam.com

TIPS OF THE MONTH – JANUARY, 2008

UNDERCOVER ANGEL – SHE’S AMAZING!

Need a wonderful story of hope and inspiration to start your year off right?  Get ready to be inspired by one of the best true stories ever…the story of a woman who in her own words, went, “from beauty queen to SWAT team”.  Lisa Lockwood tells her story of how she “stops at nothing to prove herself in the ‘Boys Club’ of law enforcement”.  In her book, Lisa teaches how to pursue the career of your dreams (despite what ANYONE else says); how to overcome your challenges to reach success; how to rise above the limits of your childhood…and so much more!  Having had the privilege of meeting this remarkable woman, I can attest that she is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.  Check out Lisa and her book, “Undercover Angel: From Beauty Queen to SWAT Team – A True Story” at:  www.lisalockwood.com

TIPS OF THE MONTH  – DECEMBER, 2007

For so many traveling the healing journey of widowhood, the holidays can be filled with dread, fear…even anger.  Because we have welcomed so many new members this year and because the holidays prove to be the time when WWS is called upon perhaps more than any other time of the year, we are repeating a portion of the Tips of the Month from December, 2006: 

HOLIDAY IDEAS – NO BAKING REQUIRED!

Many of you have written looking for suggestions on how to “make it through” the holidays and it’s no wonder – this is without a doubt, the most difficult time of year for you.  Try some – or all of – the following suggestions that will hopefully help make your holiday season one of peace and comfort.

v     Go to the Monthly Newsletter on the website (December, 2006) and read it thoroughly.

v     Now go back and read it again.

v     Get out of the house!  You don’t have to go to a party or anywhere near a mall – just get OUT!  Bundle up and walk around your neighborhood.  Get into the car and drive around to see the lights.  Head to your local coffee house, treat yourself a holiday coffee blend (pumpkin spice, peppermint or cinnamon are big favorites of ours) and just enjoy the beauty of this time of year.

v     If you can’t bear the thought of being in your home without your husband this year, switch it up and have a destination holiday!  If you live in a cold weather area, explore a warmer climate this December – for example, in December, 2003, Kendall and I went on a “dolphin safari” and on December 21, we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in a pod of over 400 dolphin – imagine that!  Conversely, if you are like us in Southern California who don’t get to experience a “White Christmas” (except with the song or the manmade snow and skating rinks that malls bring in), take off to where the snow is (but check the weather to make sure that you can get there and get home!).  Many hotels offer wonderful deals at this time of year – check out some of them. 

v     Oftentimes, we feel better when we are of service to others.  Not only does it help us “get outside” of ourselves for a little while, it also reminds us of the many blessings that DO exist in our own lives.  This is a wonderful time to volunteer your talents, your services or just a little bit of your time to:

o       Soup kitchens, homeless shelters or other organizations that are helping to clothe, feed and shelter the less fortunate;

o       Hospitals – both for children and adults.  Contact your local hospitals and see what programs are available to help cheer those who are dealing with illness at this time of year.

o       Convalescent or assisted living homes.  Sadly, many of the elderly are forgotten during the holidays and just a simple visit from someone who cares will bring warmth to their hearts – and to yours!

o       Adopt a family!  So many families are in the position of not being able to afford the “extras”, including holidays for their children. The a gift of a tree, stockings filled with candy, or a gift certificate to a local grocery store for a holiday dinner are all wonderful ways to help a family celebrate (and this is even more fun when it’s done anonymously!

TIPS OF THE MONTH – NOVEMBER, 2007

YOUR FINANCIAL FOLLY CAN FINALLY BE FINISHED!!

*When you hear words like “financial planning” or “budgeting” or the dreaded phrase “credit card debt”…what’s your initial reaction?  Do you glaze over as though you’re watching cement dry?  Do you want to run away screaming?  Is hearing financial advice from your Great Uncle Fred or the buttoned-up corporate guru sitting behind a desk the very LAST thing you need? 

You’re in luck!

Stop what you’re doing right now and check out “On My Own Two Feet” (Adams Media); the “one stop” financial “bible” for all WWS Wonder Women!  Billed as the “modern girls’ guide to personal finance”, this fun and informative book is written for women just like YOU and is written in an easy-to-understand and “user friendly” format.  Written by the wonderfully witty Manisha Thakor, MBA, CFA and Sharon Kedar, MBA, CFA, both of whom are graduates of Harvard Business School, these two talented authors and financial experts know exactly where you are right now and exactly what you need to gain financial peace.  After everything that you’ve been through, you deserve to get on the right financial track and this book will help you do it – plus it’s a fun read!  “On My Own Two Feet”  is available at all major retailers, as well as at  www.amazon.com.   Visit www.onmyowntwofeet.com for further details. 

TIPS OF THE MONTH – OCTOBER, 2007

 HELP YOURSELF…AND HELP OTHERS TOO!

Two absolutely awesome organizations are in the WWS spotlight this month:

HELP YOURSELF

* It is my distinct pleasure to introduce the newest friends of WWS…the Blue Thong Society (no, not THAT kind of thong!).  BTS is a fantastic organization dedicated solely to the empowerment of women and a visit to their website at www.bluethongsociety.com will have you smiling in a second! 

BTS has announced their Second Annual “Fight Frump” Cruise; taking place on April 14-19, 2008, and I am delighted to be included as one of the speakers participating in this exciting event. This five-day cruise and conference will encompass everything from dynamic workshops to a private on-board cocktail party to two days in-port in Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada (and the price includes all of your on-board meals, entertainment and workshops!).  However, this is more than “just a cruise” - most importantly, this is an amazing opportunity for you to be able to surround yourself with the love, support and education that you so need and deserve. 

For more information on BTS and the upcoming conference / cruise, including pricing information and itinerary, please visit www.bluethongsociety.com and click on the cruise link at the top of the page.  You can also call 866-225-8012 or email your questions to BTS@wildwomentravel.com.

HELP OTHERS IN NEED

*October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and our good friends at DesignHerGals.com are doing something absolutely amazing…a Virtual Walk!  If haven’t yet heard of Design-Her-Gals, you are in for a huge treat!  Do you remember how much fun you had playing “dress up” as a young girl?  How would you like to be able to do it again – except this time, you can dress yourself up and have your image on everything from business cards to invites, stationery…even t-shirts!

At DesignHerGals.com, you’ll start in a “dressing room” and build a “gal” to your exact specifications.  You choose eye color and shape, skin tone, hairstyle, length and color – you can even choose a breast cancer headscarf!  You then move on to choosing outfits and accessories of every sort – and “accessories” aren’t just limited to jewelry and shoes!  You can “accessorize” with everything from pets to pom-poms; martinis to margaritas…it’s all there. 

Best of all is that while you’re having fun playing dress up and designing your own “gal”, you’ll be helping women in need.  DesignHerGals.com and their non-profit Gal-to-Gal Foundation are dedicated to raising funds and awareness for those diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, and a portion of every order goes straight to that foundation.  Widows Wear Stilettos is proud to feature designs from Design-Her-Gals throughout our organization.  

Design Her Gals’ goal is one-million “walkers” in the month of October – let’s help them get it done!  Visit www.designhergals.com to join the Virtual Walk, have a lot of fun and in the process, you’ll be helping others in need…and I promise that you’ll feel better for doing so!

HALLOWEEN SAFETY

As you and your children venture out on Halloween night, we at WWS want to remind you of the following safety rules:

1.  ALWAYS accompany your child when trick-or-treating….ALWAYS!!!  Carry a flashlight while walking. 

1.  Make sure that your child’s vision is not obstructed by a mask.

2.  All costumes should be flame-retardant and should not impede your child’s ability to walk safely.  Cinderella gowns and scary ghosts are great; however, make sure that hems come no lower than the child’s ankle. 

3.  This is one of those few times where high heels are not appropriate!  Make sure that your child is wearing a flat, weatherproof shoe to prevent slipping and falling. 

4.  No eating candy while out and about…not even “just one taste”.  Thoroughly inspect all candy and goodies upon returning home (and in our home, anything opened or unwrapped got tossed). 

5.  Remember, in the battle of car vs. pedestrian, the pedestrian will always lose.  Do not cross a street suddenly or dart out from between parked cars – and make sure that your child’s costume (and your clothing as well) is easily visible by drivers.  If you’re driving on Halloween night….SLOW WAY DOWN!!

TIPS OF THE MONTH – SEPTEMBER 2007

AWESOME AUTUMN HAS ARRIVED!!

Well, almost…

Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year…the air gets that “crisp” feel to it; there’s a scent of woodsmoke in the air – and most importantly, autumn marks the return of football season!  Time to get out our fabulous sweaters and boots (which I cannot WAIT to wear) and enjoy this season.  This is also a very busy time of year; what with kids going back to school, updating everybody’s wardrobe FOR back to school (and don’t forget your own wardrobe!) and starting to at least mentally prepare for the holiday “trifecta” of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas / Hanukah / Kwanzaa that will be here before we know it. 

What’s on our radar for autumn?

1.  Fashion is so beautiful this fall.  Metallics are definitely still everywhere and are being worn even in the daytime. Shoes, handbags and even makeup include beautiful golds, bronzes and silver palettes.  Neutrals are still hot this fall, but the big colors for fall are burgundy and plum, which are so rich and yummy looking – also good on just about every skin tone.  Boots are a must for this season and the good news is that they are now being shown in every heel and shaft height for every occasion imaginable – from “booties” to over-the-knee (super hot!); from flats to spike-heel to wedge. 

2.  The smoky eye still rules the runways and don’t be afraid to use colors other than gray or black…try a navy blue or forest green around the eye.  And the big news on lips this season is RED, RED RED.  The good news is that there is a red suitable for everyone; regardless of skin tone.  If you’re a little intimidated by red lipstick, try a red lip gloss or lip stain instead…these formulas tend to be a little less intense. 

3.  Now that we have you looking great…how about some awesome autumn “comfort food”. Following are a couple of quick “fall” recipes that you and your family will love! 

TIPS OF THE MONTH - AUGUST, 2007

WHEN “GOING AWAY” MEANS “LEAVING HOME”

For many, August is a popular “going away” month.  Whether it’s to a last session of summer camp or back to school, August is a month where many children find themselves leaving the home…perhaps for a short period time or in the case of college, until the first holidays arrive.

Regardless of the age(s) of your children, leaving home for any period of time may prove difficult.   It’s a scary step under the best of circumstances; under the circumstances with which your children are living, it can be terrifying.  The reasons are several:

• Since the loss of their father, your child’s sense of security has been shaken.  Their home life has been upended.  There is a very real underlying fear of losing you as well, and the rationale is oftentimes, “if I don’t leave, nothing will happen to Mom or to my family”.

• Guilt.  Your child may feel as though he is “deserting” you by leaving you all by yourself – and they may feel that way even if there are siblings at home.

• Sadness.  Whether it has been years or just a short time, your child may still be the early stages of mourning the loss of their father (Kendall was still grappling with the “early” stages of grief years after her father’s death).

• Lack of control.  Your child may feel as though they have no control over their lives or their destiny.   Like it or not, they feel as though they “have” to continue with life and that continuance includes school, activities, etc…even if they feel just too overwhelmed to do so.

Your first instinct may very well be to keep your child at home at all costs.  That’s not an unusual instinct; I went through the exact same thing.  However, this is Real World and in Real World, you must enable and encourage your child to return to a life of education and / or activity.

How can you help? 

1)     STOP!    Pay attention to your child.  Does your child appear reluctant to leave home?  Does he /she demonstrate a distinct lack of enthusiasm or disdain for the upcoming activity or departure? 

2)     LOOK!  Does he procrastinate when it comes to packing or taking care of “have-to’s”?   Has her general behavior become moody or sullen? 

3)  LISTEN!  Is she saying things like, “I don’t really have to go Mom”, or, “how will you manage without me”?

4)  VOLUNTEER!  Offer to go with your child … to see them off to school (yes, even if that means traveling across the country), to take them to camp or to the bus that will take them to camp.  Go to lunch or dinner beforehand to help make this a festive and exciting time.  If schools are offering student orientations, offer to go with your child the first time.  You will also want to make sure that any camp or school guidance counselors are aware that your child has experienced a major loss in their life, so that if your child needs help in your absence, the help is ready and waiting for them.

5)  STAY IN TOUCH!  Write, email, fax…whatever you are permitted to do to stay in touch with your child.  And while it’s OK to let them know that you miss them like crazy, it is NOT going to be OK to superimpose your grief onto them – they are worried enough about you as it is.  Don’t tell them that you wish they never had to leave home (even though we all feel that way as parents!), or that their absence makes you miss their father even more…this is a guilt that they cannot handle and should not have to handle. 

6)  KEEP PAYING ATTENTION!  If you sense that your child is having genuine difficulties with being away from home, (poor grades, isolation, rebellion, physical symptoms, etc.,) contact the people in charge to discuss and remedy the situation.  Don’t just assume that “it’s homesickness” or that “this too shall pass”. 

Keeping this tips in mind will help ensure that your child will have a pleasant experience away from home, while at the same time, making sure that your concern, your love and your presence is felt as much as possible.

TIPS OF THE MONTH – JULY, 2007

“IN THE SUMMERTIME…”

Welcome to summertime!  A lot of you are asking for “refresh and renew” summertime tips and since Kendall and I are “California Girls”, we’re happy to share some of our favorites:

v     Grab a Beach Boys CD and  “blast” it!!  It doesn’t matter where you live in this country, when you put on a Beach Boys CD, turn it up to approximately two points past pain and listen to, “I Get Around” or “Fun Fun Fun” or “Help Me Rhonda” or any of their other two zillion great songs, you are automatically transformed into a Beach Baby.  It’s also impossible to sit still or be sad!  Dance around, sing at the top of your lungs – and if someone sees you…who cares!!!!

v     Move your cooking outdoors.  Who doesn’t love barbequed hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken or steaks?  My personal favorite is shish kabob, made with steak chunks, onion and green bell pepper and served over a bed of rice.  Don’t forget corn on the cob, a fantastic salad and some watermelon or cantaloupe.  Even if your evening meal consists of a stop at Fried Chicken Charlie’s, eating outdoors is an incredible mood boost…try it! (…and now I’m really hungry!)

v     Go someplace that involves a body of water.  Yes I know, it might be a little easier for those of us on a coast or near a lake, but even if the only access to water that you have is the local YMCA or high school swimming pool…GO!  Just being near water is so therapeutic and relaxing…and water plus a little bit of sun equals a body that rests better at night.  (P.S. - don’t forget LOTS of sunscreen!). 

v     Summer fashion is nothing short of fabulous.  On our fashion radar, we see:

·        Shorts of every kind.  Short-shorts (no, not Daisy Dukes!) with cuffed hems as well as Bermuda and capri length and worn with every style of shoe imaginable – from ballet flats to sky-high stilettos to wedges of every kind.  You can even wear shorts out at night with a high heel or wedge and because you’re wearing shorts, you won’t feel quite as vulnerable to a wardrobe malfunction as you might in a mini.

·        Printed dresses and shifts; everything from a mod “Pucci-style” print to floral and tropical prints.  Long halter dresses as well as flowing baby-doll dresses and tunics are everywhere right now.

·        Shoe designer and guru extraordinaire Manolo Blahnik says that this summer, bright colors belong on our feet as well.  Look out for shoes in white, yellow, green and even fuchsia!   Metallics also remain hot for the season and not just garden-variety gold and silver.  Look for metallics in bronze, champagne, brown, gunmetal…such a variety!

·        Colors on nails are pale on fingers and anything from super bright pinks to black-red on toes.  Cool New Rule:  Fingers and toes DON’T have to match…so have some fun!

·        Ponytails, headbands and headscarves are quick, easy and inexpensive ways to manage hair; not always easy to do with summer weather elements.  Ponytails are being worn low or at the middle of the head…”high ponys” are for cheerleaders. 

·        Summertime make up is quick and easy…use bronzer or a tinted moisturizer instead of foundation and lip gloss or lip stain instead of lipstick.  Stay “glowy” rather than “goopey” with blotting papers to keep shine to a minimum.  One of my favorite summertime palettes is bronze and taupe eyeshadow, a peachy-pink blush and pink lip gloss…this is a look that easily goes from day to night.  For nighttime, add a bit of dark brown eye pencil smudged around the eye….SO beautiful!

TIPS OF THE MONTH – MA