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TIPS OF THE MONTH
Previous Tips
Carole's Recipes - Special New Page
TIPS OF THE
MONTH – AUGUST, 2008
NOTE: DUE TO
OVERWHELMING READER RESPONSE AND FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR NEW MEMBERS, THE
FOLLOWING “TIP” IS REPEATED FROM AUGUST, 2007
WHEN “GOING
AWAY” MEANS “LEAVING HOME”
For many,
August is a popular “going away” month. Whether it’s to a last session of
summer camp or back to school, August is a month where many children find
themselves leaving the home…perhaps for a short period time or in the case of
college, until the first holidays arrive.
Regardless of
the age(s) of your children, leaving home for any period of time
may prove difficult. It’s a scary step under the best of circumstances; under
the circumstances with which your children are living, it can be terrifying.
The reasons are several:
-
Since the
loss of their father, your child’s sense of security has been shaken. There
home life has been upended. There is a very real underlying fear of losing
you as well, and the rationale is oftentimes, “if I don’t leave, nothing will
happen to Mom or to my family”.
-
Guilt.
Your child may feel as though he is “deserting” you by leaving you all by
yourself – and they may feel that way even if there are siblings at home.
-
Sadness.
Whether it has been years or just a short time, your child may still be the
early stages of mourning the loss of their father (Kendall was still grappling
with the “early” stages of grief years after her father’s death).
-
Lack of
control. Your child may feel as though they have no control over their lives
or their destiny. Like it or not, they feel as though they “have” to
continue with life and that continuance includes school, activities, etc…even
if they feel just too overwhelmed to do so.
Your first
instinct may very well be to keep your child at home at all costs. That’s not
an unusual instinct; I went through the exact same thing. However, this is Real
World and in Real World, you must enable and encourage your child to return to a
life of education and / or activity.
How can you
help?
1)
STOP!
Pay attention to your child. Does your child appear reluctant to leave home?
Does he /she demonstrate a distinct lack of enthusiasm or disdain for the
upcoming activity or departure?
2)
LOOK!
Does he procrastinate when it comes to packing or taking care of “have-to’s”?
Has her general behavior become moody or sullen?
3)
LISTEN! Is she saying things like, “I don’t really have to go Mom”, or,
“how will you manage without me”?
4)
VOLUNTEER! Offer to go with your child … to see them off to school (yes,
even if that means traveling across the country), to take them to camp or to the
bus that will take them to camp. Go to lunch or dinner beforehand to help make
this a festive and exciting time. If schools are offering student orientations,
offer to go with your child the first time. You will also want to make sure
that any camp or school guidance counselors are aware that your child has
experienced a major loss in their life, so that if your child needs help in your
absence, the help is ready and waiting for them.
5) STAY
IN TOUCH! Write, email, fax…whatever you are permitted to do to stay in
touch with your child. And while it’s OK to let them know that you miss them
like crazy, it is NOT going to be OK to superimpose your grief onto them – they
are worried enough about you as it is. Don’t tell them that you wish they never
had to leave home (even though we all feel that way as parents!), or that their
absence makes you miss their father even more…this is a guilt that they cannot
handle and should not have to handle.
6) KEEP
PAYING ATTENTION! If you sense that your child is having genuine
difficulties with being away from home, (poor grades, isolation, rebellion,
physical symptoms, etc.,) contact the people in charge to discuss and remedy the
situation. Don’t just assume that “it’s homesickness” or that “this too shall
pass”.
Keeping this
tips in mind will help ensure that your child will have a pleasant experience
away from home, while at the same time, making sure that your concern, your love
and your presence is felt as much as possible.

IT’S HERE!
WIDOWS WEAR STILETTOS Book is now available
for Pre-ordering. Please visit "WWS Products
and Services" for details.

INSPIRATION
“IN AN INSTANT”!
You are no
doubt familiar with Bob Woodruff; the ABC News anchor who was critically wounded
by a roadside bomb in Iraq in January, 2006. He, along with his incredible wife
Lee and their four children collectively fought to bring Bob back to health - a
fight that they were brave enough to share with the entire world.
“In an
Instant”
(Random House), is a courageously honest, immensely touching, sometimes-humorous
and always-hopeful memoir written by both Bob and Lee Woodruff. Chronicling
their “beginnings” as students at Colgate University and journeying through
their marriage; the arrival of children; career triumphs and life challenges,
the Woodruffs take us on their “life ride”, and spare no details in sharing the
terror, the uncertainty, the almost unbearable frustration and the eventual
aftermath of Bob’s life-altering injuries. Many of you will especially relate
to Lee’s candid portrayal of her life as caregiver to her critically ill husband
and mother to four children – and you will find comfort and reassurance in her
words.
Just over two
years after his devastating injury, Bob continues his miraculous recovery and is
once again working at ABC News. He and Lee have devoted themselves to helping
soldiers returning from Iraq with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). In addition to
extensive traveling to speak to and visit with the thousands of victims of this
tragic injury (and their families), the Woodruffs have also started the Bob
Woodruff Family Fund to aid those in need of rehabilitation from their
injuries.
“In an
Instant”
is available at all major retailers, as well as through their website. For more
information on the book and the Fund, visit
www.bobwoodrufffamilyfund.org/
**PLEASE
NOTE: The tips, resources, websites, endorsements and recommendations offered
on this page are based on research conducted by Widows Wear Stilettos and / or
personal experience. These recommendations are made for the sole purpose of
offering assistance and suggestions to our members and visitors to the site.
Widows Wear Stilettos, its production company, Penguins 51 and / or their
employees or assigns DO NOT receive ANY remuneration whatsoever for any resource
or recommendations made.

CAROLE’S EMBARRASSINGLY EASY RECIPE OF THE MONTH
Since I’m still
in a “Salad State of Mind” (apologies to WWS members from New York and to Billy
Joel for messing with a song title!), I’m sharing yet another super-favorite of
mine. This recipe was given to me by a longtime dear friend and “Mentor
Extraordinaire” after my ranting and demanding that she share the recipe… or
else!
BROCCOLI
SALAD
-
2 large
heads of broccoli, chopped extremely fine
-
1 small red
onion, chopped
-
1 cup
golden raisins
-
1 large
carrot, grated.
FOR THE
DRESSING, MIX TOGETHER:
-
1 cup
mayonnaise
-
½ cup
sugar,
-
2 tbsp rice
vinegar
Pour dressing
over broccoli mixture and toss. Just prior to serving, add 8 slices of cooked
and crumbled bacon and 1 cup sunflower seeds.
CAROLE SAYS:
You can substitute turkey bacon or REAL bacon bits, found in the condiments
section of your grocery store. Refrigerate leftovers (if there are any!); it
tastes even better the following day!

Previous Tips:
(Carole's Past Monthly Recipes have been moved to a separate page for RECIPES.
All recipe links go to this new page.)
July:
2008
August:
When "Going Away" means "Leaving Home" -
Recipe of the
Month:
Recipes
July:
Summertime Sizzle - Be Smart
Recipe of the
Month: Super Cool
Coleslaw
June:
To Life (Insurance, That Is)
Recipe of the
Month:
Chicken Turnovers
May
Spring Has Sprung
Recipe of the
Month: Quickie Chickie Salad
April
Don't Assume . . . ASK
Recipe of the
Month:
Tortellini Caesar Salad
and Charoset
March
Live and Laugh
Recipe of the
Month: Sausage Tortellini
Soup and Cucumber Salad
February
Celebrate Life in a
Beautifully Meaningful Way
Recipe of the
Month: Chicken Whip
January
Undercover Angel - She's Amazing
Recipe of the
Month: Easy Pull-Apart Bread
2007
December:
Holiday Ideas - No
Baking Required
Recipes of the
Month:
Onion Pate & Snowdrops
November:
Your Financial Folly Can Finally Be
Finished
Recipe of the
Month: Sherried Sweet Potatoes
October:
Help Yourself . .
. and Help Others, too
Halloween Safety
Recipe of the
Month:
Hearty Chicken and Noodle Casserole
September:
Awesome Autumn Has Arrived (See current Tips)
Recipe of the
Month: Pork 'N'
Noodles with Cherry
Dessert
August:
When "Going Away" means "Leaving Home" -
July:
In The Summertime
June:
Widow Etiquette - Part 2
May:
Widow Etiquette
April:
Spring Has Sprung
Congratulations Design-Her-Gals
March:
How To "Get Through" the "Go Through"
February:
Valentine's Day "SURVIVAL"
Ideas
Do You Know
Anyone in My Area
January:
Happy
New Year - Happy New You!
The Tax Man Cometh
2006
December:
Holiday Ideas - No Baking
Required
"Legal-ese" - The Hardest
Language in the World
November:
Giving Thanks . . . and Getting Through
To Life! (Insurance, That Is)
October:
Don't Assume - Ask
Have Fun . . . Help Others
September:
When
Back-to-School and "Back-To-Bed" Collide
Copy of Tips of the Month
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